Posted February 12, 2014 by in Dating

How to Approach Dating in the Church


Some people are opposed to dating someone who attends the same church – because of the fear that it won’t work out and you will have to see that person every Sunday, for the rest of your life. Others are cautiously open to dating at church but fearful that the congregation may expect you to establish a courtship on the 3rd date. And still others approach it with open arms. When it comes to dating in the church, I think the best approach is to be open.

The word says that the “steps of a good man are ordered by God” (Ps 3:23), so we can be confident that God will guide and direct your heart. I believe that God will divinely orchestrate what is destined to be will be. He will facilitate both chance encounters with potential mates and situations where you’ve had an opportunity to observe someone in ministry, which could peak your interest in them. Either way, He will reveal potential candidates for a relationship and you just have to be thoughtful and prayer about who might be a good mate. And remember, just because people uses their spiritual gifts, doesn’t necessarily mean that they are the one for you. Don’t assume that everyone you meet in church is a spiritually grounded person who has impeccable character and will never hurt you. They just might because church is full of hurting people who need healing and help from the Lord. So, as you consider dating in the church, don’t be quick to put church-goers on a pedestal.

Secondly, I think it’s important to choose carefully when it comes to dating at church. Unlike people you meet at the grocery store or coffee shop, your fellow church members are likely to come back to church….which means you won’t have the luxury of simply changing your number and hoping to never run into them again. On the contrary, you are likely to see these people once a week – everywhere from the offering line too the parking lot to the lobby after service. So, two pieces of advice – don’t break up, slash tires and act crazy. That’s not a good look for a Sunday school teacher. Second piece of advice – be selective when choosing who to dating at church. You can’t run through half of the choir with people are you not seriously interested in. That’s not a good look for anyone.

Additionally, I also think it’s important to be sincere about seeking God at church and if you happen to meet someone at church who you are compatible with, then that’s great. But if you are trying to pre-arrange a romantic encounter at the Church Bookstore or a “holy hook-up” in the communion line, then I think you may be a little off balance. There is no need to try to catch that cute usher’s attention or to join the choir to get next to someone (when you know you can’t sing). What’s for you is for you and God won’t withhold any good thing from you (Psalm 84:11). So, just chill and try to enjoy the sermon and use these tips in approaching dating in the church.

And while you are at it, check out what this Christian comedian’s hilarious video on dating in the church:

What advice do you have on dating in the church? Please share your thoughts below. If you’ve enjoyed this article, please “like” our page on Facebook; follow me on Twitter @courtship101 and sign up below to receive our weekly newsletter: http://eepurl.com/Jqlbn

Photo Courtesy: www.swampmeadow.org