Posted January 18, 2014 by in Dating

Moving Beyond Baggage & Brokenness to Embrace Love


Restoration occurs when the scars and bruises on your heart are covered by God’s healing balm so that true love can be embraced. Heartache happens because people are imperfect, but healing is available. I found a journal entry where I wrote, “I have fear in my heart. Fear of the unknown. Fear of the past repeating itself.” In knowing myself, I can pinpoint the very relationship that initiated that fear, anxiety and insecurity. It was over 12 years ago in a relationship where I was repeatedly cheated on. The infidelity made me question if anyone would ever be faithful to me. And as I held onto the fear of being cheated on, it became a source of baggage in future relationships. Having that single, negative experience altered my perspective on relationships and robbed me of expecting the best. Reading that journal entry now, illustrates how fear paralyzes ones ability to fully give and receive love. This is not God’s perfect plan for matters of the heart.

While each relationship can allow you to grow and become a better person; unfortunately some relationships leave scars. Those relationships can leave you broken, hurt and confused.

So what do you do? Do you make those negative experiences become a permanent fixture in your life? Do you consider yourself wounded, put a “damaged goods” stamp on yourself and carry that hurt forever forever? Do you stay in the pits to sulk and wallow in the pain? No, no and no. You get up and dust yourself off. And then you pray for grace to move on and keep pushing.

I think that sometimes God uses drama to get us out of a relationship we ought not be in. Other times, pain is simply supposed to be a life lesson. Pain is a natural reaction to a hurtful situation. It’s a real emotion tied to a specific event or situation. But it’s not supposed to be a shrine or a eternal crutch that we always refer back to. You have to deal with your pain, take it to God and heal….otherwise it shapes who you are and turns into fear, which immobilizes you and gives you a warped view of love. God says, “Love believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Cor 13:7). But if you carry pain around forever, you won’t be able to trust and hope and believe the best in people. If you constantly reference the pain of the past, you miss your chance to fully enjoy the moment. Fear strips you of the ability to fully love and receive love.

So this is the reflection point: Have you been hurt and lost all hope in love? Were you once a romantic, but now you’re a skeptic? Have you thrown in the towel and given up on love? If so, maybe its time to drop those bags, let go of the past and get renewed in the arms of God. 1 John 4:16 says, “God is love”. He is the essence of love and He alone can reinvigorate and heal your heart with a new dose of perfect love. God can fill your heart with faith and deliver you from fear. He can give you a renewed perspective on love.

I’m reminded of a line from Erykah Badu’s song Bag Lady. She says it so eloquently, “…..Bag lady [or man], you gon’ hurt yo’ back….Carrying all those bags like that.” What am I saying? You weren’t built to carry that load and take that baggage forever. So today, release those bags….let go and allow God to engulf your heart to release divine healing.

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