Posted December 2, 2013 by D.S. Coleman in Marriage

Preparing to Be a Husband (3 Key Steps to Getting Ready)

In a candid conversation with friends, several guys expressed to me that they wanted to be married, but couldn’t find the person they were looking for. That was intriguing because you typically think of the woman as the one waiting for marriage. However, it was refreshing to think of the brothers out there who are waiting, in eager anticipation, on the day when they can walk down the aisle with the love of their lives. There are several things that men aspiring for marriage can do to get ready for “I do”.

While society mostly focuses on all the ways that single women prep for marriage, it’s important to note that these queens won’t ride into the sunset with their knight in shining armor if there are no available suitors. In other words, for this thing to work, the fellas have to prepare for marriage too. Men have to work on being good life partners for healthy relationships and marriages.
So, in the Gospel according to Rasheen (my husband), there are three essential things he believes men should master before marriage: leadership, commitment and communication. When I asked my husband to tell me the most important things men need in preparation for marriage and here’s what he had to say:

Leadership – it’s essential to exhibit leadership in your life prior to marriage so that you can be in a position to lead your family once you are married. In other words, with the prospect of marriage on the horizon, men have to prepare to step up and embrace a whole new level of responsibility. You go from being concerned about yourself, to being responsible for someone else’s livelihood and security. He said, “You can’t be selfish if you want to be a husband.”

Closely tied to leadership is pursuit. Men must be prepared to seek out the woman they are interested in. You should be prepared to show your interest and provide leadership in making sure you plan activities to get to know each other. However, as you pursue, it’s important to be cognizant of the type of person who suits you best. Hubby said, “My former Pastor always said that most men know what they want, but they don’t know what they need. It goes beyond the type of person that you are attracted to, it is figuring who can complement you. What qualities do you need in a spouse to help you achieve your destiny?” Recognizing that you spouse will be a helpmeet, it’s important to find someone with the characteristics to bring out the best in you. Reflecting on these points will help you find the right person for you.
Commitment– “You must be ready to settle down and be with one person”, is the simple advice that my husband gave. It’s not a matter of age, but resolve that you are ready to make that commitment. In other words, you have to be prepared to embrace monogamy. This means getting rid of the black book, the exes and the “it’s complicated” situations. It means being ready to commit and only you can determine when you’re truly at that point.
Communication– Recognizing the fact that communication is a foundational building block of marriage, hubby stressed the need for cooperation. “Be ready to compromise and know that it’s not going to be easy. There are two different people coming together to become one. So, that means different ideas, backgrounds, thoughts on what marriage should be.” Always be ready to compromise so that communication can flow freely in your marriage.
What do you think? I want to hear from you – are commitment and leadership the most important things in preparing for marriage?

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D.S. Coleman

D.S. Coleman

D. S. Coleman is a freelance writer, motivational speaker and blogger focused on inspiring strong marriages and healthy relationships.Her blog offers fresh perspectives for singles seeking to honor God in their relationships and couples seeking to strengthen their marital bond.Featured in a variety of publications, her blog is the perfect companion for you – as you walk this Love Journey.She is the author of the new book “Why Dating Sucks & How Courtship Is Better” (available on Amazon.com)
D.S. Coleman

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